6 things i learned in 2022

1. I am my age and all ages before me 

while journaling on my birthday, I realized that, yeah, cool I just turned 22

but for some reason, it didn’t feel like it

and I realized maybe it was because I felt younger than I should have

turning a year older means that I am now the new age of 22

but i am also the previous ages of 21, 20, 19, 13, 5, etc

I am all the lessons I learned at age 19

the inner child from age 5

and I still am that teenage girl who had a complete meltdown when zayn left one direction

I am not entrapped and disclosed to any of these ages

but instead these ages reside in me

as a reminder of my growth and purity.

who I become in the future is analogous to a wooden doll that fits inside the other

– each year inside representing the next.

2. slowing down is medicine

i was constantly moving so fast

wanting to get to my next step in life faster

wanting to forge new friendships as soon as possible

accomplish my goals faster

take bigger leaps

but it was exhausting

i needed to slow down

i needed to take smaller steps

by walking a little slower, i noticed how green the grass was

by making my coffee slower, i enjoyed the process of adding caramel around my mason jar

by eating slower, i tasted more ingredients in my meal

by doing my makeup slower, i appreciated the undertones and scars on my face

time truly does go by fast so i learned to enjoy the timelessness of it

and it has changed my perspective on how i see the future

 

3. to not only focus on yourself but on the wellbeing of others

i know this may sound contradictory because we have always been told to focus on ourselves

but i believe focusing on others and comparing yourself to others are two different meanings

i personally thrive when others thrive

and build strength in the community i surround myself with

community is the reason i made it this far

but i tend to forget that i am also community for others

i am someone’s shoulder to cry on

someone’s phone call away

it’s easy to stay focused solely on yourself

so here’s a little reminder to check up on your people

if you’re lucky enough to have a support system,

why can’t you be the support system for others as well?

4. having a social life does not always have to be a priority

this one took me 11 months to figure out

i felt like social media really made me feel like I was doing it all wrong

once the weekend came rolling in, i felt as though i HAD to make plans and go out

but most of my fridays consisted of ordering takeout and watching movies w my parents

and i absolutely loved it

i was comfortable

but sometimes i felt “lame” and maybe bc my sister would constantly tell me i was

so i would go out here and there

but the minute im in a social setting

my mind just goes blank

all i would think about is finally being in bed 

with my skincare done and netflix playing in the back

i felt so out of place making plans and recharging my social battery

and i continued stressing over it

i felt terrible bc here i am in my early 20’s

i felt that this was the time for me to be miss little social butterfly

so i kept putting myself in social situations 

and i hated it

but i realized i was genuinely happy just being in my cocoon

i had other priorities in my life 

but a social life just was not one of them

and that was totally okay

so just a friendly reminder that if you ever feel stressed over something society makes out to be a priority

ignore it.

i was in my grandma era and was okay with it

5. I have never seen this version of myself before so I should give myself grace and patience

embrace the individual that you are today at this very moment

and be the person you know yourself to be

this version of yourself resembles a chapter of your life

would you rather speed up the book to get to the end

or take your time writing each sentence to create a beautiful story

you will always be a work in progress

there is no final version of yourself

so be kind

a new day is always a fresh start

inspire yourself on a daily

the end of a chapter is a channel for a new one

the end is always a new beginning

so be patient and kind with your past, present, and future self

6. being alone doesn’t always mean you’re lonely

you can be in peace in a crowd bc you feel comfortable within yourself
or you can just as much feel miserable by yourself bc you can’t stand your own presence
Loneliness is internal and fundamentally existential
but real peacefulness is when you’re alone
real peacefulness is living with the higher self that resides in you
there is a fine line between living in fear of being alone
or living in solitude within yourself
after moving farther away for grad school i learned that loneliness is happening to me
while solitude was happening for me
i went on more walks than i normally do
kept track of every small happy little thing that’s happened to me
tapped more into my creative space
got more comfortable with silence
listened to more podcasts and guided mediations than i could count
and to my surprise – i was living the life i didn’t know i wanted
Spending more and more time with myself
helped make my mind such a happy place to live in
which made it a healthier space for my family and friends to live in as well
everything’s connected
connecting with yourself is actually also connecting with others